The internationally known guru of motivation, Tony Robbins, annually captivates thousands of people during his seminars by leading them through a series of interactive dialogues to unlock their hidden potential. He challenges his audiences by asking questions that focus on what they would like to accomplish with their lives if there were no chance of failure or other psychologically-based, or induced, hindrance. We know ask a similar question to you: 

If you knew you could succeed at anything you undertook, no matter how far-fetched it may seem at this point, what would you really want to do, or accomplish, with your life?

The key word is “want.” Free of any self-imposed limitations, and fear of failing (remember, if you tend to focus on bad things, expect them to happen much like a self-fulfilling prophecy), take just a moment, re-read the above question, and think about what is you really want no matter how outlandish it may seem. Perhaps you should write it (or them) down as well on a separate sheet of paper for future reference.

It is typically those desires that drive our lives, those we feel the most affinity for, and therefore what we really want to expend energy and resources on to accomplish. Too many people compromise and simply “settle” for alternatives rather than truly pursuing their desires. In the process they put aside their dreams in favor of playing it safe or simply settling for something comfortable. If this describes you, congratulations, and welcome to the club, you are like most of us. But now that you are aware of this, you have the advantage. It is within your power to change your thinking and your outlook towards life, and pursue your passions.

If you think you can do a thing or think you can not do a thing, you are right.

…Henry Ford

Every day you travel to a personal crossroads of sorts. At that intersection are choices. You are forced by necessity to make decisions based on preferences (and yes, deciding not to choose is a choice), and then you live with their consequences. Therefore, it is no stretch to state that each day represents a kind of life journey. Think about this for just a moment. Do you realize how lucky you are? Each day you can choose to be anything you want, and act in any manner that befits your particular mood. How often in this life do you get to exercise control over your environment in this capacity? Armed with that knowledge, you now need to make these daily journeys of choice the greatest of your life. Saying that is the easy part, but really, how are you going to do that? 

Actually, that is easy as well. Things, wants, desires, etc., when distilled down, are really very simple concepts. They are typically items that interest and motivate you to achieve, seek satisfaction, or find success. But, in order to take advantage of this distillation process you must take control of your life and work towards achieving those things that are important to you. There is no more vital thing you can do then to take control of your life and decisions - to be proactive rather than be reactive; to control rather than be controlled, to exercise power as opposed to being dominated. "Reactive" translates into some external stimuli exercising its power over you. You must not let that happen. Once you capitulate, and let someone else shape your perceptions, you lose the ability to control your environment.

Taking control means acting, doing something, somehow uniting success with your ideas, changing, and not just going through the motions fooling yourself, but living and acting with purpose and enthusiasm for what you are doing. That is necessary is to unleash your potential. Take note, that despite this positive spin on focusing your actions, that it is human nature, in this process, to become discouraged or lose site of goals because we associate hard work or investing too much time with their attainment. If this describes you, welcome to the club. So before you throw up your hands and become instantly discouraged, ponder this point: how painful will it be if you do not attain your wants and desires? In economic terms this is euphemistically called "opportunity cost." It is the costs of choosing one option over another. It includes not only the funds expended, but additionally any economic benefits you might have accrued (called “utility”) as a result of obtaining the wants or desires. As an example, suppose you wanted to skip class because it was a nice spring day, the lake looked inviting and you thought working on a tan was a better use of your time than being in class. It was only later you learned there was a test that day and no make-up would be allowed. Unfortunately, as it turned out, you not unexpectedly failed the exam. That ultimately resulted in a lower overall final course grade, which in turn impacted your combined grade point average (GPA). Because you were planning to be a doctor and were applying to medical school, the lower GPA resulted in your non-acceptance. This of course meant you could not become a doctor and lost out on the economic benefits that accompany that profession. The opportunity cost, then, is the lost wages and stature of being a doctor.    

Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work.
…Thomas Edison

Change

The discussion of goal setting must, by necessity, be accompanied by a discussion on change. Let us take a look at the word "change." In order to accomplish our wants and desires, often times we need to alter our modus operandi - what we are doing. What does it mean and imply, and what are the transitory steps? For starters, it means doing something different than what we are accustomed. Why is it so hard, then, for a person to change? Easy, it can be answered in one word – comfort. We get a routine going, and we like it "there." It is safe, secure, and best of all familiar. We know what to expect, there are no surprises to disrupt our world. The problem, however, is that no growth on any level - physically, mentally, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, etc – occurs.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials

…Chinese Proverb

Change is comprised of several stages. Once you identify them (as the change is occurring) and learn how to overcome and breakthrough each phase, you can begin to advance and grow.

Phase one could be called "the ending." Everything you have known and become accustomed to is ending. During this time you are confused and grieving the loss of the familiar - the old ways of doing things. You want to cling to the tried and true methods you have always used (or perhaps those you have become comfortable with). People everywhere are telling you change is inevitable, it is good, necessary, etc., and it is at this point you must psychologically "steel" yourself to what lies ahead.

Phase two is a kind of "transition" time in which you somewhat adopt the change but still hold out hope the old will return. Often times you transition between the old and new several times hopping to find a kind of comfort zone. Many also refer to this as a kind of denial period. While the change is occurring, and being mildly accepted, it is not being universally accepted. In other words, the jury is still out.

The final, or third, phase is the "new beginning" where the change you have been dealing with becomes very normal. You have adopted it, and the old ways begin to fade from memory. Transition times through the various stages vary depending upon the intra-psychic capabilities of the individual. This transition among the various stages of change is not unlike the stages of grief where a person experiences shock and disbelief, denial, anger, depression, and ultimately acceptance. In point of fact, many people may experience those very emotions while dealing with the transitory steps of change.        

One of the great paradoxes in life is that everyone wants something. Yet, very few of us ever take the next logical step (to change) and do anything towards satisfying those desires. Unfortunately, few, if any, things in this life just happen. You have to make something happen and the only way to do that is to “do it.” But you have to do it everyday. That means you must focus your concentration daily towards goal achievement and potentially to changing on a daily basis. Spend the time to measure progress and make adjustments if necessary. Strive to make improvements - large or small - everyday. If you do that, you stand a much better chance of attaining your goals. If change is not “your thing” you need to reconsider and figure out a way in which you can accept that daily change may be necessary if you really want to achieve anything of importance in your life.

Societal Paradoxes

Society has become a paradox as well. We all know successful people. The media provides us with a continual barrage of information about them - who is the richest, most successful, prettiest, most talented, the “best”…the list goes on, and on, and on. But the dichotomy is this: in the process of regaling us with information about them, we as a society (the press included) tend to focus on the negatives - imperfections, scandals, and character flaws – instead of asking the more thoughtful questions about how they achieved their level of notoriety or success. It is far easier to say they were born rich, have great genetics and natural ability, or they were just plain lucky, than to ask this fundamental question: how did they do it? By doing this, we can also hide our own shortcomings or lack of ability, motivation, and effort. If this describes you, do not worry join the rest of us, it is human nature. But now that you are aware of it, make a concerted effort to change that mentality and begin to ask how you, too, can achieve the same level of success.

In all fairness to these icons of wealth and athletics what we do not see, or usually read about, is the 90 hour work weeks the Fortune 500 CEO puts into his or her job, or the countless hours on the practice field or gym the world-class athlete is spending. That is what truly separates them from the rest of us. They have the drive and determination to work hard to achieve. They have probably also studied other successful people to learn how they became exceptional achievers. That is a strategy you, too, should employ. Study success, it often times leaves clues. Uncover those traces and you have an excellent blue print to follow. If you want to go to be a successful doctor, meet the best doctors in their field and learn their secrets.

You probably know who Muhammad Ali is – arguably the greatest heavy-weight boxing champion of all time. His 57-4 record and three heavy weight crowns certainly rank him among the best ever. However, how many of you know have heard of Larry Holmes? He had the distinction of following Ali as the “next great heavyweight champion of the world (some would say he had the misfortune of being the first in line to follow a legend).” In 1980 he defeated Ali in an 11^th round technical knockout to retain the heavyweight championship (Ali was going after his 4^th championship at that fight). What many do not know, however, is that early in his career, Holmes was one of Ali’s sparring partners. He spent countless hours practicing with and learning many of Ali’s fighting techniques, modifying them to fit his own personality and skills.    

As an aside, have you ever wondered why athletes at all levels in various sports such as football and basketball, particularly, spend countless hours watching and studying game film of their opponents? They do so to gain an edge over the competition. They look for patterns of behavior or traits from their competition in various situations. By doing so, they have a good idea how an opponent will react. Knowing this can make the difference in winning and losing. The same can be said for success – in addition to clues, it leaves certain patterns. 

Studying Success

If you do not invest the time to study success, your outcome will be in doubt. Few if any of us can set a goal and not do the necessary preparatory work, and then go out and succeed. You have to have a foundational understanding of what it is you want, and what it will take. But there is still more to the aspect of not achieving one's goals that merit further examination. 

Failure to achieve goals can result from several factors - they were ill defined, unrealistic, too generic, little motivation to achieve them, our own fears that manifest themselves into a type of negative self-communication that signals to our mind that we can not possibly be successful, and lastly the very real fear of success. Let us examine this final one more closely.

The fear of succeeding, as strange as that sounds, can be a powerful anti-motivator. It is not so much the fear of actually succeeding that foils one's efforts as it is the process of investing time and talents. In other words, the goals may be perceived as too hard to achieve. Any goal or desire really worth achieving should be challenging. Acknowledge that fact, and convince yourself to do whatever is necessary to succeed. In such a manner, you will be able to focus your attention and energies for the single purpose of achieving your goals rather than fearing them. You might employ some self-introspection at this point. The first thing you need to ask your self is why you think the goal will be too hard to attain. Then you need to ask why again when you have that answer, and then again and again until you distill you fears down to the root cause for your fear.

If the notion that something is too hard to really put 100% effort into describes you, then eliminate that kind of negative outlook. Instead of associating pain or angst with the attainment of your goals, focus instead on the benefits you will derive from their achievement. The technical name for this process is neural dissociation…what it really means is you will look at the glass as being half full rather than half empty (be an optimist instead of a pessimist).

Let us attempt to change your mindset right now by conducting a mini exercise that gets you to think about these points:

1. Think about and identify something of importance you recently accomplished. Perhaps it was a goal. Specifically reflect on the level of effort you put into it. Was it a lot of effort? Why? If not, why not, and did you really accomplish everything you wanted? 

2. Now think about the real motivating factor for achieving that goal. Was there some kind of reward or perceived pleasure for accomplishing it? Or was it merely an attempt on your part to avoid pain or some other unpleasant experience?

3. If the failure to achieve your goal was all about avoiding pain, take some time and reflect back on some other goals you failed to achieve. With the clarity of 20/20 hindsight, though you avoided pain in the past how short-lived was that; how painful has it been since because of that failure(s)? Have more problems arisen as a result? Do you wish, now, that you would have expended more effort towards achievement?

4. Write down the things in your life you are unhappy with, and that you can control. What strategies can you employ that would allow you to remove those things and turn the negatives into positives?

5. Identify the things in your life that you are unhappy with and that you can not control. Are they really that important in your life that you need to be unhappy dealing with them? Do you have alternatives that would allow you eliminate them and remove them from your life?

6. Finally, instead of focusing on the negatives – those things that resulted in failure - reflect back on those times where you accomplished your goals. Did you do so because you knew that fulfilling those goals would result in pleasure? If so, what pleasure have you derived?

The first step in changing anything in life is to admit there is a problem. If your problem has been to focus on the negatives in goal attainment, then reverse that mindset and   focus on the positives.

You should now have a concise picture of recent goal accomplishments and what your reference motivation (pain or pleasure/positive or negative) was. At this point, how you proceed from here is up to you. But since the focus of this section is on the identification of motivators, it is far better to focus on the positive aspects of any situation then the negative. It is a mindset change. Sometimes, behavior modification is needed along with a fundamental shift in self-identity. In other words, how you view yourself affects the probability of an outcome. If you expand who you are, and your self-identification as a person, you are more likely to view things as more attainable; you will not self-limit. As an example, if you want to do better in a math and English class, you could begin to view yourself as a better all-around student focused on being the best you can be. The natural consequence of such a mindset shift is that once you view yourself in a more positive light, and begin to apply yourself across a broad spectrum of academics, and put forth the necessary effort to improve, you tend to become a better student. Once you have achieved this level of self-perception, the notion of being average in several school subjects becomes unacceptable as you strive for continuous improvement.

In order to build confidence in your decisions from here on out, and allow you to spend some time focusing on what is important, take a few moments to:

1. Write down a list of goals you would like to achieve in your life.

(If you think this is nothing more than an academic exercise, think again. In 1966, the nationally known football coach Lou Holtz was hired as an assistant coach at the University of South Carolina. His wife, Beth, was pregnant with their third child, and he had just spent most of his savings to make a down payment on a house. One month later, the head coach – Marvin Bass – was fired, and with him, his assistant coaches, Lou among them. Being unemployed and with no where to go, he began to question himself and his choice of professions and was very unmotivated. It was then his wife gave him a book entitled The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz. The book challenged its reader to write down all the goals one wanted to achieve in their lifetimes. Excited about the possibilities, Lou spent some time towards this effort and before he knew it, he had listed 107 items; that covered the gamut of all things he wanted to achieve. These goals became a measuring stick of sorts for tracking progress. His personal philosophy is that people should become participants in their lives and not spectators. Over the years, coach Holtz has guided such programs as William & Mary, North Carolina State, Arkansas, Minnesota, Notre Dame (where he won a national championship in 1988), and most recently at South Carolina).

2. Next, map out the necessary steps you will likely have to do to achieve those goals.

3. Finally, identify the benefits (the positives) you will derive from accomplishing the goals.

In order to attain your goals, you have to succeed, it is as easy as that; and yet equally as hard. And how do you do that? Let us examine what goals are and the steps needed for their achievement.

Setting and Achieving Goals

We all have desires - things we really strive for and want. What is your dream - to be rich, or famous, perhaps successful as well (or any combination of these)? If so, how are you going to do that, have you ever formulated a step-by-step plan?

The minute you choose to what you really want to do it is a different kind of life.

…Buckminster Fuller

Since this publication is part of a multi part publication about applying to the Air Force Academy, it is probably safe to assume you are very interested in receiving an appointment to attend. How are you going to make that happen?  For starters, you can begin by setting the ultimate goal to get that appointment. From there, you can create sub-goals that are contributory to the central goal of getting in.

A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done.

…Vince Lombardi

Do goals really work? Ask any successful person how they achieved success, and they will probably tell you they set goals. Companies set goals all the time. They usually include short (tactical), medium, and long-term (or strategic) goals. Business processes are then modified and finances planned for and allocated towards the attainment of those goals. But what, exactly, is a goal? 

It is something to strive for, an achievement perhaps. It is certainly something of value, and worth working hard and sacrificing to obtain. In simple terms, a goal is a tangible objective that can be measured in terms of attainment or non-attainment. You will understand how hard it is to obtain that Academy appointment once you begin to do all that is necessary during your high career.

What are the values of goals? For starters, they push you past self-imposed limits. By setting goals that are difficult to obtain, you are often times forced out of a “comfort zone” and in the process do things you never thought possible. In pushing past limitations, you increase confidence in your abilities, and operate with a sense purpose. Once you work through all the necessary steps towards goal achievement, and can look with pride at what you have accomplished, you are better able to trust you own decisions and judgment. After all, you did it once you can do it again, right? 

There are two incontrovertible facts about goals: most people do not have them; and they work.

Have you ever really thought about setting goals before now? If yes, congratulate yourself. If not, you should invest some time contemplating and writing them down. Think in terms of a broad spectrum of goals. If you could break them down in terms of the following: (perhaps the previous exercise can feed into this):

What is it you want to be, or do, with your life?  Do you envision yourself accomplishing great things (if so, what), or are you desirous of a more quiet lifestyle?

Are you a generally happy person?  Or are you more of a sad individual?  Do you view life positively or more negatively?  Do you want to change your attitude?  Do you want to be a different person?  If so, in what way?

Where do you want to attend school (what type of school), and what courses do you want to study?  Do you want to earn an advanced degree?

Do you want to rich, or just comfortable?  How about retiring early? What are you prepared to sacrifice for that six-figure job on Wall Street?

Are you interested in a career serving the public?  The armed forces perhaps? Or maybe a career in politics?

Is a wife/husband and children in your future?

Setting Personal Goals – Steps for Setting Goals

Setting goals is a necessity in personal planning. It allows you to decide what you want to achieve, and then forms waypoints, of sorts, to help you along. By knowing your goal(s), you know what you have to accomplish.

Goal setting is a technique used by achievers everywhere. It provides long-term focus and short-term motivation. By setting clearly defined and achievable goals you can measure progress, and you will invariably raise self-confidence with the achievement of every goal. Achieving goals ultimately gives you the feeling that anything is possible and that even more difficult goals are attainable if you believe in yourself and work hard.

Tip: The more passion you have for your goal, the more effort you will put into its attainment. You are more likely to "want" to attain your goals.

Hard work, preparation, a commitment to excellence and to yourself, and a little luck should synergistically combine to let preparation meet opportunity when that time comes. Use all of these, plus the power of your own mental concentration on a regular basis to help you focus on, and achieve, your goals.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."

                                              …Darryl Royal (former football coach, the University of Texas)

Push yourself at all times and never be satisfied with your successes (reflect positively on them of course, revel in the moment when you obtain them, but do not rest on your laurels). The Japanese have a word for continual and sustained improvement - they call it "kaizen." The English language contains no such word. Yet, it is this strategy that has allowed certain Japanese industries to become world-class leaders in business. You should apply this principle - continual improvement - to your daily life and to your efforts in achieving goals.

“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more of it I have.”

…Thomas Jefferson

Let us take a look at some of the common “steps” to goal setting:

Step 1: Identify your goal by creating a written plan and then believe in a successful outcome.

The creation of a plan is the “how” you are going to do it. You absolutely need a blueprint for how you want to achieve your goals. You certainly could not build a house without doing the requisite drafting; and success does not happen without planning. 

The tactile act of picking up a pen or pencil and physically writing goals down is important because words are a necessary part of the cognitive process. They convey images, feelings, and emotions to the mind. When a phrase or sentence is read, and re-read, the impression on the mind becomes deeper and ultimately, there is a maximum impact. The more the impact, the more likely you will be to put forth a maximum mental and physical effort to attain them. Once you have a plan, begin the mental process of knowing what, specifically, you want to achieve. Focus your mental resources towards visualizing a successful outcome.

If you do not know where you are going, and you get lost, you may wind up somewhere else.

…Yogi Berra   

The best we can do it size up the chances, calculate the risks involved, estimate our ability to deal with them, and then make our plans with confidence.
…Henry Ford

Step 2: Identify Contingency Plans.

When you set a goal, write down a list of potential obstacles you may face. Analyze and then develop strategies to overcome each one. Anticipation of problems is imperative and allows you to seamlessly transition from one part of your contingency plan to another as the situation warrants. To underscore the necessity of contingency planning, and the potential pitfalls by not doing so, here is an example of what can happen when it is not done.

(From an Information Technology professional in Austin, Texas, who worked as an independent consultant for a then up and coming company): “…I really admired [the company and its staff], they were a young, energetic, group of professionals who had a tremendous niche market. In six years they had grown to annual sales of over $20,000,000 and their future looked bright. They spent a lot of time planning and goal setting. Several years ago, they realized how dependent upon technology and how vulnerable their computer systems were, and decided to develop a disaster recovery plan. I was hired to work with their staff for several months mapping out system dependencies, critical processes and data, and finding a backup facility. One thing that jumped out at me immediately, aside from the contingency nature of the work we were doing, was they had no policies for data backup, recovery, or storage. It was done as an after-thought from what I could ascertain and on any floppy discs that were ultimately stored in drawers or on desktops; and they were never complete, just bits and pieces of the data. I immediately let the CEO know their data was in serious jeopardy in the event of an accident or disaster, and he assured me it would be dealt with immediately.

Well, you can guess what happened. It was never addressed, and in the time between my visits, they experienced an office fire in which all I/T equipment, including their servers, and most of the building was lost. Had they backed up the information? Only haphazardly, unfortunately, the majority of the information in terms of clients was lost. At best, they probably had no more than one percent of the information they needed to run the business. No data equaled no customers. They could not recover from that loss and within three months they were out of business. Had they just spent some time developing simple data backup and recovery plans and methodologies, the disaster would have had virtually no effect on their business and they would still be in business today. 

Step 4: Establish deadlines.

There is a cynical business epigram that states: “work expands to fill the time allocated” (in other words, people waste time when they can!). The more time available, the slower the work gets done. Deadlines get results! They create a sense of urgency and force you to make things happen.

When setting deadlines for tasks, remember to break them down into manageable units and set reasonable time frames for accomplishments. By doing so, you will avoid being overwhelmed and wanting to throw in the towel out of frustration. Even professional project managers recognize the importance of breaking down work into the smallest possible units. It makes their jobs easier to manage, and prevents the project from becoming bogged down dealing with extraneous issues resulting from too much work to do in too little a time span.

Tip: Though it may seem like setting deadlines adds extra pressure to the attainment of the goal, this can be a good thing. A little pressure can be a positive factor in keeping you sharp and focused.

Step 5: Plan. Plan. Plan.

"Failure to prepare is preparing to fail.”

 …John Wooden

Achieving your goals requires planning - forward thinking. You have established your goals, and you are motivated and ready to begin planning. Make sure your plan is not too rigid. Factor in time for unexpected events (based on those contingencies you have already accounted for). By looking ahead through planning you get ahead and stay ahead. A great example of planning is Microsoft Corporation. From humble beginnings in 1975, it has grown into one of the largest companies in the world, and is, without debate, the pre-eminent software developer in the industry. But how did it reach this lofty stature?  Through planning and setting goals for growth, market penetration, product development, and anticipating consumer needs and wants.

Step 6: Begin working towards achieving your goal.

Making a plan and actually believing in its completion and implementation are the foundational levels of this process. Now comes the hard part of actually doing it. Working towards the achievement of a goal implies effort will be expended and that you can not sit back any further and just dream about things. In other words, the talking, thinking, and dreaming are over – it is time to do. As they say:  “…talk is cheap, action is satisfaction.” 

To follow, without halt, one aim: There is the secret of success.

…Anna Pavlova

Step 7: Tracking and measuring progress.

If you do not succeed initially, welcome to the club and join the other 99% of us. Most successful people rarely obtain their goals the first time around. What makes them unique, however, is they learn from their mistakes, move on, and keeping trying to improve. Not learning from your failures is the ultimate mistake. The point here is, naturally, if you are not as successful as you want to be the first time, do note discouraged.

If you wish success in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother and hope your guardian genius.

…Joseph Addison

Step 8: Be Persistent.

In goal achievement, persistence is essential. Keep after things. To avoid the human tendency to put things off, you have to develop mental toughness which means ignoring the effects of discouragement and somehow turning negatives into positives.

 'Press on,' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race

…Calvin Coolidge

It is no accident some people succeed and some do not. It is specifically due to a number of factors: hard work, preparation, knowing what they want, and having the determination to pursue dreams no matter the obstacle, and motivation. The key constraint preventing anyone from achieving their goals boil down to one thing - themselves. The biggest single determinant of success is motivation. Are you motivated to doing the things necessary to achieve your goals? Do you really want to succeed? 

What we think, we become.

…Buddha